


Don't Say the "B-Word"

by StarsAlign (WinchesterFeels)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Tower, BUT THE END IS NICE I PROMISE, Fluff, M/M, Post Iron Man 3, The beginning kind of hurts, almost a team fic, birthday fic, hints at past neglect, in honor of Tony's birthday, lots of movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:19:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1713716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchesterFeels/pseuds/StarsAlign
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In all the time Steve has known Tony, they've never once celebrated Tony's birthday. Steve starts to get suspicious, as he's known Tony for way more than a year now, but his asking Pepper has some unexpected consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Say the "B-Word"

**Author's Note:**

> So, today (May 29), is canonically Tony Stark's birthday. I felt I had to write a fic about it, mainly because I need to actually write instead of outlining some of my bigger, up-and-coming fics. Here's a one-shot about Tony and his messed up birthday memories. Enjoy!

For as long as he could remember, Tony had never looked forward to his birthday. It was really just another day while his parents were alive, spent uneventfully and alone. Sure, Maria would do her best to make it special, but she wasn’t the best mother in the world. This left Tony lucky if she remembered to buy a cake and put it in the fridge for him to find when he raided it for a midnight snack the next week. Tony’s only real company for his birthday during his childhood was the same company he had everyday: his tools and his tech. But there wasn’t anyone to interact with, no one to remember his “special day.”

Since Howard and Maria died, though, it had become a reminder of everything wrong about him. It reminded him of his screwed up childhood, of his personality flaws, of his failings, and of all of his loneliness. Even though he never got the attention he craved as a child, he secretly held out hope that his father would have remembered him, and his birthday, once he’d had the chance to prove that he was worth Howard’s precious time. Spending “his day” alone year after year made him question why it was he was always by himself, which inevitably led to the drunken self-discovery of how worthless he considered himself. It had evolved into some sort of tradition, really, getting drunk and thinking about how horrible he was, each and every horrible quality he had, all of his horrible horrible failures.

Honestly, the loneliness is what got to him the most, not that he would ever admit that to anyone. The only reason he got so drunk on his birthday was to numb himself, to try to fill the aching hole in his chest longing for someone, anyone, to listen to him ramble, or to just be there with him.

So, as one might expect, he was stunned when Steve asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday. Tony was down in his workshop working on his latest suit repairs, and Steve was sketching on the couch, when Steve made his move.

“So, Tony, I was talking to Pepper yesterday,” Steve started.

It took Tony a moment to respond, and when he did he just grunted, trying to prompt Steve to continue without having to actually open his mouth.

“And she told me that it’s your birthday in a couple days,” Steve finished.

That earned quite a reaction from Tony. He froze, stiffly put down the wrench in his hand and the screwdriver from his mouth, and pivoted to face Steve. His expression was controlled, composed into a careful mask. He didn’t speak for a minute.

“Why were you talking to Pepper?” Tony asked coolly.

“As difficult as this may be for you to believe, Tony, your ex-girlfriend actually likes to speak to me. We have coffee every Monday morning,” Steve said with his usual sassy undertones.

“I don’t know which I find more disconcerting, the fact that my ex-girlfriend and my not-yet-ex-boyfriend are on speaking terms, the fact that they have a regular coffee date, or the fact that I seem to be a pretty regular topic,” Tony said, forcing a chuckle onto the end of his statement.

“Tony, you already knew that. Besides, that’s not the point.”

“Ok, Steve, then what was the point?” Tony asked defensively.

“Really, Tony. I’m not even asking you why you neglected to tell me when your birthday was. I’m just asking you what you want to do for your birthday,” Steve said simply.

Tony didn’t respond, and instead went back to the repairs on his right wrist gauntlet.

“What do you usually do for your birthday?” Steve asked.

Again, no response.

“What’s up, Tony?” Steve asked quietly, sitting quietly on the bench opposite of Tony, with the gauntlet he was working on between them. Steve had learned early on in their relationship that the best way to get Tony’s attention was to put himself in Tony’s direct line of sight. He didn’t use the tactic often, but this was important to him - he thought it was worthy of breaking out the big guns.

Tony still didn’t respond. He did, however, tighten the screw on the gauntlet to the point that the metal plate underneath it cracked. Muttering curses to himself, Tony got up and started pacing around the workshop.

Steve knew how to recognize the beginnings of one of Tony’s anxiety attacks, and this was it. He didn’t know what had set it off, but this was more important than that.

Steve started pacing with Tony, slightly slower than him, and behind him, quietly saying his standard mantra of “I’m right here, Tony” and “You’re safe now” and “I love you.” When Tony’s pacing slowed a bit, his face started regaining color, and his hands started shaking, Steve asked Jarvis to turn on thier recovery playlist. It was instrumental and unobtrusive, but it gave them both something to focus on besides their emotions.

After a while, Steve sat on the bench and watched Tony finish pacing, inviting him to sit down next to him by clearing off the seat next to him. After a few more minutes, Tony sat down and let his head fall on Steve’s shoulder. Steve wrapped his arms around Tony only when Tony hugged him, and gently placed a kiss on the top of Tony’s head.

Tony sighed after a while, and pulled easily out of Steve’s reassuring grip. He looked at Steve for a moment before speaking.

“So,” he said with a shaky voice, “can we not talk about the specific event that the rest of the world seems to think should happen this Thursday?”

“Of course,” Steve said with a slight, reassuring smile. “What do you need?” he asked after a moment.

“Right now, just you. On that day, just... Don’t leave me alone, okay?” Tony said, not looking Steve in the eyes.

Steve made sure Tony was looking in his eyes before saying, “I never would.”

And that was the end of that conversation.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The morning of May 29, Steve and Tony stayed in bed late. Normally, Steve would get up early and run, or Tony would get up in the middle of the night with some invention idea and head down to the shop for hours on end, but there was none of that this morning. Steve would keep his promise, and stay with Tony all day long, no matter where he went or what he wanted to do.

They actually stayed in bed for a really long time. They cuddled and exchanged gentle kisses for the majority of the morning, only bothering to get up when Steve’s supersoldier metabolism required breakfast.

“I’ll be right back, Tony, I just have to go grab some food. Want anything?” Steve asked, but Tony was already getting out of bed to follow.

They stumbled out of their bedroom around 10:30, helping themselves to the leftovers from the rest of the team’s breakfasts. Steve ate the oatmeal that Bruce had left for him, and the eggs that Clint had cooked and kindly left for him that morning, and Tony just grabbed a container of ice cream from the freezer and ate that. Even though he felt like he should object, Steve kept his mouth shut. Just this once, he told himself.

“So,” Steve said casually, “I was thinking movie day. Sound ok?” 

Tony looked up from his ice cream container breifly, and nodding, only saying “I’mma need more ice cream.” Steve smiled.

Tony pulled up his first choice of movie, while Steve went to get more ice cream from the big freezer in the tower’s basement. He’d have to put ice cream on the list for the next time someone went to the store, but they had enough to feed the small army that lived in the tower for at least today.

Steve got back to the living room to find the opening scene of Mr. and Mrs. Smith starting to play, and Clint already making himself at home on one of the couches. Steve handed the next ice cream carton to Tony as he cuddled up next to him, and turned up the volume.

Throughout the day, they watched an obscene amount of romantic comedies - Tony’s favorite. People had come and gone all day, Clint watching through lunch, Natasha coming in around 4, Thor wandering in and out, and Bruce somehow slipping in without anyone noticing sometime after 6. Someone had evidently ordered Chinese, cause they had all ended up with their own take out containers sometime around 7, delivered to them by Bruce. The whole team watched whatever movies Tony requested until around 10:30, when they started retiring to their own rooms.

Even though no one had said much all day, Tony had felt his company’s presence around him the whole time. He had to admit, it felt pretty good. He felt... Accepted. For once.

They turned the TV off after the movie ended sometime after midnight, when it was only Steve and Tony left. Tony was heading over to the elevators when Steve called him back into the kitchen.

“So,” Steve said, “I know you didn’t want to acknowledge what day it was, but I have something for you, if you’re willing to see.”

Tony deliberated for a minute, before nodding and saying, “Okay, yeah, let’s see it.”

Steve grinned and turned to the fridge, taking something from the bottom shelf. He turned around to show Tony his surprise: a stunning cake.

“Is... Is that for me?” Tony asked, briefly glancing up from admiring the expert frosting job and gorgeous flowering on the top of the circular cake.

“Yup,” Steve said with a slight smile, “Made it myself yesterday. It’s lemon - your favorite. Want some?”

He must have nodded or something, because before he knew it, Tony had a small plate with a slice of cake on it in front of him, and a fork in his hand with a bite of cake halfway to his mouth. He finished bringing the cake to his mouth because, hell, it was already halfway there, and it smelled divine.

One bite, and Tony was hooked. He’d been right - the cake was divine. The best he’d ever had, actually. He stared wide-eyed at Steve as he chewed and swallowed, and Steve just looked hopefully at him.

“Well?” Steve asked with a slight smile.

“I... I have no words. This cake is fantastic. You are now the only baker whose delicious baked goods I will ever eat again. I hope you know what that means.” Tony said, and Steve started to laugh.

“Glad my baking passes the Tony-test.” He paused for a moment, then said, “I just hope my celebrations pass, too.”

Tony didn’t even pretend to not know what he was talking about. He sighed, and stared at Steve lovingly, eating more of his cake.

“Don’t feel like you have to say anything you don’t want to, but I would like to know if this type of celebration is ok for the future,” Steve said quietly.

“Oh, this is definitely a good celebration-style to keep in mind,” Tony said with a smile. “There’s just one thing that would make it even better,” he grinned, finishing the rest of his cake and heading off to the elevator bay.

This time, Steve didn’t pretend to not know what he was talking about. He swiftly finished his own cake, and followed Tony to their room, already halfway hard by the time they met at the elevators.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Tony lay panting on top of Steve’s chest, their sweaty skin sticking together. A few minutes later, Tony managed to roll off of Steve onto his own side of the bed, but couldn’t find his voice to talk. Their chests rose and fell in tandem, and Steve rolled his head to the side to smile at his lover. Tony did the same, and managed a crooked smile. 

Steve rolled onto his side, and held up his arm so Tony could fit himself against his chest. They just laid there for a while, Steve’s chest pressed firmly against Tony’s back, fingers intertwined and held closely against Tony’s chest, over his arc reactor. Just before drifting off to sleep, Tony gently kissed Steve’s hand and whispered, “Thanks for a great birthday.”


End file.
